Yes, I am sitting here typing to let you lovely people know that I am sick today. Why? Because there's no law saying I can't.
I have this wonderful, lovely cold, and the wonderful, lovely doctor put me on some wonderful, lovely strong cough syrup to help k.o. the cold. It was bad enough I had to cancel my piano lesson this morning. So I'm sitting here listening to IndieFeed podcasts on iTunes, reading Questionable Content, and waiting for the Phenergan to put me to sleep in the next hour or so while I'm sipping on some Sprite for fluids. But at the same time, I'm hoping it doesn't. Josh gets off work late tonight and I'm having a serious cookie craving (they started mentioning cookies in some of the QC comics I've been reading and now I'm fiending for some chewy Chips Ahoys). I've been laid up in bed all day. I need cookies like I need a hole in the head, but hey, it's all good. I'm also hoping that I'm feeling a lot better tomorrow. My best friend might be in town and we had plans to do lunch.
Anyhum, since the brain fog isn't going to clear anytime soon, I am going to close this down. Send some healing vibes my way so I can start feeling better. :)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Learning to Live
Sometimes I sit and think
And it gets me into trouble.
Not with others, just myself
Because I can't handle the weight of my thoughts.
Sometimes I lay down and cry
And languish over dead-end love.
I just want to learn to heal
But sometimes it seems to be too much.
One day I'll learn to be stronger
Become a better person
And someday I'll learn to deal.
Win this war against myself.
Maybe my life isn't so bad.
It could always be much worse.
I just don't have the right grip
To hold on to all the right things.
So I love within my ability
Because I know it's there
It reminds me of who I am
And lets me know that I have to enjoy the ride.
Yup, I'm in one of those moods. Been in one of those moods. I wrote that poem in April of last year, but it still seems pretty fitting for right now (and by the way, "Learning to Live" is the name of the poem). It seems that last few weeks have been pretty hard. But, as they say, this too shall pass.
Actually, the last 8 months have been the hardest. Especially around Mother's Day. It was my first mother's day without my mom. I told my husband that I would have much rather been able to go out and buy her a CD or a cute knick-knack for the house all packaged up in a cute gift bag as opposed to having to make a visit to the cemetery, but just because she's not here in the physical sense anymore doesn't mean I have to slack on tradition.
Since I'm off from school for the summer, I've had a lot of time to do some reflecting on my life. Granted, 24 years isn't really a lot to reflect on, but it's been quite an eventful 24 years.
I dream a bit too big, I set my goals way too high and I beat myself up when things aren't perfect. I think that's why my confidence is shot where my musical talents are concerned. That and I'm the only musician in my household, and I have to sneak in practice time whenever the opportunity arises, which isn't as often as I'd like. It makes me feel awful, because here I am, getting a piano studio off the ground, preaching to my students the importance of practicing when I barely get a chance to.
When I was little, I wanted to be famous. I wanted everyone to love me. Part of me still wants that. I guess I'm just an attention whore by nature, haha. I've always been a showoff and had a bit of an ego (which I have reason to believe is because I'm a Soprano. I've heard we Sopranos can get pretty inflated!). Now I'm a little more grounded though. At least we would all hope so, right? Riiiight? ;)
The point of this, is for one, a venting session for me. A chance for me to type this out, look at it, and think "Okay, it's not so bad now. Back to real life." Second off, my inflated ego was causing me to totally jump at the chance to post one of my poems. (Not really. I posted it because it's how I'm feeling. And it's a Megan original, so all the better!) Third and finally, it was a way of starting to put things back into perspective. I've got a pretty good thing going. I have a wonderful husband and two spoiled rotten cats who love me very much, a close-knit family and amazing friends who are loyal and there for me every step of the way, faith to help keep me strong (I'm a solitary eclectic Wiccan), a strong passion for music which I'm sure will take me far in life... if I can just get over that nasty little bump of self-degradation (My main goal I have set for this next semester of school: Get my groove back.). So what if I never get to achieve the bigger goals I've set for myself (i.e. having a poetry book published, meeting my favorite band, traveling to England... very unrealistic for me, considering the fact that I'm a housewife in BFE Kansas who will probably never afford a trip like that, haha.)? Now that I think of it, it does make a pretty cool bucket list though. We'll just have to see how things pan out. It's not over yet!!!
Well, now that I've gotten that all out of the way, I actually feel a lot better now. I'm hoping that in the future, my posts won't revert back to the "I'm having a hard time" type of deal. Maybe I'll find some interesting topics to write about. Either way, this is going to be pretty enjoyable for me to write, and I hope each and every one of you who reads this finds it enjoable to read. I should thank you for taking the time to read my little vent-fest though.
Peace, and Love and Light :)
And it gets me into trouble.
Not with others, just myself
Because I can't handle the weight of my thoughts.
Sometimes I lay down and cry
And languish over dead-end love.
I just want to learn to heal
But sometimes it seems to be too much.
One day I'll learn to be stronger
Become a better person
And someday I'll learn to deal.
Win this war against myself.
Maybe my life isn't so bad.
It could always be much worse.
I just don't have the right grip
To hold on to all the right things.
So I love within my ability
Because I know it's there
It reminds me of who I am
And lets me know that I have to enjoy the ride.
Yup, I'm in one of those moods. Been in one of those moods. I wrote that poem in April of last year, but it still seems pretty fitting for right now (and by the way, "Learning to Live" is the name of the poem). It seems that last few weeks have been pretty hard. But, as they say, this too shall pass.
Actually, the last 8 months have been the hardest. Especially around Mother's Day. It was my first mother's day without my mom. I told my husband that I would have much rather been able to go out and buy her a CD or a cute knick-knack for the house all packaged up in a cute gift bag as opposed to having to make a visit to the cemetery, but just because she's not here in the physical sense anymore doesn't mean I have to slack on tradition.
Since I'm off from school for the summer, I've had a lot of time to do some reflecting on my life. Granted, 24 years isn't really a lot to reflect on, but it's been quite an eventful 24 years.
I dream a bit too big, I set my goals way too high and I beat myself up when things aren't perfect. I think that's why my confidence is shot where my musical talents are concerned. That and I'm the only musician in my household, and I have to sneak in practice time whenever the opportunity arises, which isn't as often as I'd like. It makes me feel awful, because here I am, getting a piano studio off the ground, preaching to my students the importance of practicing when I barely get a chance to.
When I was little, I wanted to be famous. I wanted everyone to love me. Part of me still wants that. I guess I'm just an attention whore by nature, haha. I've always been a showoff and had a bit of an ego (which I have reason to believe is because I'm a Soprano. I've heard we Sopranos can get pretty inflated!). Now I'm a little more grounded though. At least we would all hope so, right? Riiiight? ;)
The point of this, is for one, a venting session for me. A chance for me to type this out, look at it, and think "Okay, it's not so bad now. Back to real life." Second off, my inflated ego was causing me to totally jump at the chance to post one of my poems. (Not really. I posted it because it's how I'm feeling. And it's a Megan original, so all the better!) Third and finally, it was a way of starting to put things back into perspective. I've got a pretty good thing going. I have a wonderful husband and two spoiled rotten cats who love me very much, a close-knit family and amazing friends who are loyal and there for me every step of the way, faith to help keep me strong (I'm a solitary eclectic Wiccan), a strong passion for music which I'm sure will take me far in life... if I can just get over that nasty little bump of self-degradation (My main goal I have set for this next semester of school: Get my groove back.). So what if I never get to achieve the bigger goals I've set for myself (i.e. having a poetry book published, meeting my favorite band, traveling to England... very unrealistic for me, considering the fact that I'm a housewife in BFE Kansas who will probably never afford a trip like that, haha.)? Now that I think of it, it does make a pretty cool bucket list though. We'll just have to see how things pan out. It's not over yet!!!
Well, now that I've gotten that all out of the way, I actually feel a lot better now. I'm hoping that in the future, my posts won't revert back to the "I'm having a hard time" type of deal. Maybe I'll find some interesting topics to write about. Either way, this is going to be pretty enjoyable for me to write, and I hope each and every one of you who reads this finds it enjoable to read. I should thank you for taking the time to read my little vent-fest though.
Peace, and Love and Light :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
It's Been a Loooooong Time....
Wow. I'm sitting here typing a blog. This is something I haven't done in about 3 years. Back in the day when I kept a blog, Xanga was popular and I had an active Myspace blog as well. Of course, trends change, fads come and go, and so now it's time to adapt!
Here's a little bit about me: I'm not famous. Obviously. I'm a housewife in my mid-20's living in a small town in Southeast Kansas/degenerate college student. (I say degenerate to be funny. Keep reading, I do a lot of stuff for the comical factor! I'm pretty sarcastic by nature but it's not meant in offense. So now that that disclaimer is out of the way...) Next May I'll be graduating with my Associate's Degree in Music, and then from there transferring to earn my Bachelor's in Music Education. So with that said, I'm an amateur musician with enough confidence to probably barely cover the pad of my left pinky, and I teach piano lessons. I'm just the ordinary girl next door married to a pizza delivery driver.
So why does someone like me have a blog? Easy. It's a place for me to spout off on all sorts of topics, hence the rants, raves, and randomness. Whether it's in general, or mildly personal (Because you can't be TOO personal with these things!), I will most likely have something to say about it. And part of me wants to be known. Now, whether this becomes super popular, or not, it is mostly for me. For me to tell my stories. Voice my opinions. Maybe even share some of my poetry, if the opportunity serves it. The possibilities are endless.
And so, I must leave with that. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!
Here's a little bit about me: I'm not famous. Obviously. I'm a housewife in my mid-20's living in a small town in Southeast Kansas/degenerate college student. (I say degenerate to be funny. Keep reading, I do a lot of stuff for the comical factor! I'm pretty sarcastic by nature but it's not meant in offense. So now that that disclaimer is out of the way...) Next May I'll be graduating with my Associate's Degree in Music, and then from there transferring to earn my Bachelor's in Music Education. So with that said, I'm an amateur musician with enough confidence to probably barely cover the pad of my left pinky, and I teach piano lessons. I'm just the ordinary girl next door married to a pizza delivery driver.
So why does someone like me have a blog? Easy. It's a place for me to spout off on all sorts of topics, hence the rants, raves, and randomness. Whether it's in general, or mildly personal (Because you can't be TOO personal with these things!), I will most likely have something to say about it. And part of me wants to be known. Now, whether this becomes super popular, or not, it is mostly for me. For me to tell my stories. Voice my opinions. Maybe even share some of my poetry, if the opportunity serves it. The possibilities are endless.
And so, I must leave with that. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!
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