Wait! On A Positive Note...

There have been good things going on though! 

1) As you all probably know (IF you have read any of previous posts), I teach piano lessons and have been for 2 and a half years. Not only is this great because I'm spreading a love of music and my knowledge and skills to others for their enjoyment, I'm also beefing up my resume and getting my foot in the door to the world of music education. Every year in April, Pittsburg State University (which just so happens to be the college I am getting ready to attend this fall... :D) holds a festival for area grade school and middle school students to perform for ratings: Mid America Music Festival. As a student, I participated in Mid America in 1995 and 1996 playing piano and obtained 1 ratings both years. As a teacher, I have had one student who has went to Mid America (last year and this year). I am so very proud to say that at this year's Mid America, my student earned a 1 rating on her piece. It's almost the end of July and I am still supremely proud of her!!! I am really looking forward to next year with the hopes of having other students get to have the same opportunity to shine for the judges. :) It's times like that that make me feel I have chosen the right career path, and make my journey to my degree totally worth the work and time that I put into it. :)

2) Yes, I know. I've been mentioning Pomplamoose a LOT in recent posts. Do I care? Not at all!!! There are a million reasons why they are my favorite band, like I can identify with them, they're super talented, their music's really awesome and makes me super happy (their newer stuff is great to blare in the car with the windows rolled down and I do NOT care about the weird looks I get from people passing by, as not many people in my town have heard of or are fans of them), and... the list goes on. I actually discovered them at a good time in my life too. However that is a story that I might have to save for later, but if Jack and/or Nataly ever read this, I just have to say THANK YOU!!!!! :) Oh... on to the point of this segment. Nataly Dawn has done a few shows on a new online performance platform (I'm not sure how new it actually is, but it's new to me and may be new to you too!) called StageIt to promote her new solo album that has a yet-to-be-determined release date (and I am patiently waiting, because I am a good fan... okay... mostly patient... I'm only kidding myself... haha). During these shows, she will raffle off her handwritten set list (autographed!) to the highest tipping fan (You can tip the artist on StageIt. Much fun and you know that you're contributing to a good cause: you're helping your favorite artist!). I think I will let the following picture do all the talking now:

If you're wondering, no, Josh was not a happy camper when he first found out, and yes, he did get over it rather quickly. Oh, and yes, this was an excuse to jazz up my blog with a picture. I'm not stopping at just this though. :)

3) In the 3 months since my gall bladder surgery, I have lost 13 pounds! "But Megan, how have you done this?" Easy! Josh and I don't go out to eat anymore so I'm cooking on his nights off, only because I feel it's kind of pointless for me to cook a good home cooked meal for myself so I get to go all out for him, I quit drinking pop (or for those of you NOT in Kansas, "soda..." Today was the first time I had a Pepsi in almost 3 weeks. I'm super proud of myself.), I started working out with one of my best friends via different workout DVD's (although I've been slacking and I need to stop that) and I walk the dog several times a week. I'm way excited. Which leads to...

4) My dog is HOME! I'm so very pleased to say that the newest addition to the Lynch family, Tundra, fits in quite nicely. The cats don't seem to think so, but they're warming up to him. We are currently working on training, as he has not yet learned his manners. This isn't too big an issue though. He's super smart and picks up on commands very quickly. The only downside is that he can be pretty stubborn which is just typical breed behavior when you have a Great Pyrenees. We also spent the first month in and out of the vet's office because of some health issues that needed to be addressed (a missing eye and a tick infestation) and he also needed his shots and other things. We are proud to say that he has a clean bill of health: no more ticks, the empty eye socket has been sealed, and he is putting on weight and looking great! However, at the moment he doesn't exactly look like a Great Pyrenees, as he has been shaved, and his hair is growing back out. This is going to be an every summer thing. I don't want him to suffer in the horrid, humid Kansas heat, and his coat will be grown out by the time the weather starts to cool off. I love my Pyr!!!

So despite all the anger from time to time, I think it's safe to say that I won't be turning into the She-Hulk any time soon. :)

It is time for me to wrap this up though, I have to babysit my friends' kiddos in the morning, and then get ready for my super busy weekend, which will consist of making 4 homemade pizzas and some Mountain Dew cupcakes and going to see "The Dark Knight Rises" Saturday night for Josh's late birthday party with a few of our awesomely awesome friends. He was 25 on Tuesday. Yay! :)

Peace out.

Blowin' Some Steam

Just to clarify, this is not going to be one of those "I'm so mad I'm going to trash talk everybody" types of blogs. Feelings will be spared, and no names will be mentioned. Why? Because 1) I'm too classy to do that and 2) I'm not really mad at anyone in particular.

I'm tired. I'm grumpy. It's been a tough week. The universe has been working against me, from the menial things (realizing right before serving supper that I bought a bad package of hamburger buns) to the downright frustrating major issues (dredging up old issues from many years ago). For some reason, my patience has just been super thin. Hurgh. I also haven't been sleeping worth a crap either, but that could be because Josh doesn't get home from work until around 4:30-ish in the morning, and I've turned my days and nights around. This habit MUST be eradicated before August 20th, as I will be getting up early to get ready for classes. Granted, my classes don't start until 8am and 9am, but I still have to leave an hour early, as I have a nice little 40 mile drive ahead of me before said classes start.

I'm mostly mad at myself for being so damn preoccupied. My mind tends to wander into territories I've been trying to keep off-limits for a long time, which makes me sad/mad/frustrated/conflicted/aggravated/annoyed and any other negative feelings I missed in that list, so I stick my nose in a Sudoku book and solve them. I listen to a lot of rap (songs that make me want to shake my butt tend to perk me up a little bit, even though that is NOT my normal go-to genre). I spend hours upon hours playing games on Facebook nonstop. I tend to forget that I have other outlets: piano collecting dust, a book sitting on my end table with one read chapter, and a neglected journal sitting in my bedroom. I forget I have responsibilities: dishes that need to be done, a dog that needs to be walked and also needs training work, laundry to do, and other housewifely duties. Then the next thing I know, I look at the clock after hours of very little productivity, and it is almost time for Josh to come home from work. Now I'm not grumbling about the lack of a social life (I DO have one!), I'm just frustrated with myself for ignoring my normal, blissfully uneventful life.

I also realized that I had been ignoring my blog. Well, not exactly ignoring it per se, but there is a reason that I don't update very often.

I'm a housewife. I cook meals, keep my house clean, and make sure my husband and pets are well kept. My life isn't exactly the most exciting. My thoughts can be fairly repetitive, which would make daily blogs insanely redundant. When the going gets real bad, I keep it personal. Airing out dirty laundry on the internet for all the world to see is a big pet peeve of mine, and I pride myself in keeping my personal issues just that-- personal. I also don't want to bore anyone with my mood swings (Those depression dips can get pretty low, just sayin'.). When classes are in session, the best you can get out of me is music theory and whatever other subject material get covered in class.

But then again, if you actually know me personally, you would see that there's no wonder I stay pretty wound up. I'm battling a mental/emotional illness, my mom is dead, my immediate family is pretty much split down the middle, my husband and I fight (Although that's just normal. My mom always used to tell me that if you didn't have any fights/spats/disagreements in a marriage that someone's getting walked on. Don't worry, there is no divorce on the horizon, we don't fight that often. We. Are. Fine. Josh and I ALWAYS land on our feet. Together.). These are things I don't like to share to the general public, because I don't like to dwell on negativity. I like to blog about fun things, like my random Pomplamoose plugs (Good music is a gift and should be shared generously) and my silly little discoveries and victories (Anyone remember my gushing over the newfound use of hyperlinks in my blog?) I might talk about how much I miss my mom, and that that loss has impacted my life in a big way, or briefly mention the depression in passing, but that's about the extent of it.

What truly matters though, is that I am alive. I'm healthy. I have a great number of people in my life who love me and make this crazy ride we call life totally freaking worth it. Somehow I feel that I've touched on this before. Here I go with the repetition! Oops!

That being said, I probably ought to wrap this up pretty quickly. Until next time...

Random Late Night Blogging Madness!!!

So I guess it's not total madness but I am rather bored at the moment, so here is a post to give me something productive to do and keep you lovely people entertained.

So just a few random things since this is a random blog:

1) I'm currently listening to Jack Conte's "Sleep In Color" EP on Bandcamp. If you have not heard of or heard Jack Conte, you should check him out here. You should also check out Nataly Dawn and Pomplamoose while you're at it. :) Thank me later.

2) I'm super duper uber proud of myself! I created hyperlinks in a blog! Woot! Okay, now I'm back in the real world.

3) By all rights and purposes, I should be asleep right now. I have a 10:00 appointment out of town, meeting with a friend afterwards, and then I have my "final" for acting. My responsible side will take over eventually.

And now for a random John Lennon quote!
"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality."

Pushing the randomosity aside, I'm super nervous. I have an audition on Thursday morning and then my vocal juries that evening. Panic mode has already set in days ago. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. Just get through the week and the world is mine-- er, I mean, I'm done with classes. It will all be worth it in the end.

Speaking of my responsible side, I believe Responsible Megan is kicking in right now, which means I should sign off and crash.

Ciao!

***One more thing!!!
I apologize for all of the mind clutter. I PROMISE the next post will have some sort of purpose behind it. So until next time, thank you. :)

Don't Stop the Music.

Music is a universal language that speaks volumes. It can express love, pain and indifference. It can make you feel better and it can reflect your current mood. It is widespread and beloved by most of society.

People who are regularly exposed to music are generally happier, and students who are involved in music in some capacity do better in school. Classical music played to an unborn child can help with its brain development.

To be a musician is one of the most rewarding things in the world. It is a natural gift that those of us who are lucky to be blessed with can use to touch the lives of others and connect while doing what we are the best at by sharing the wonderful gift of music, whether it is playing it or even teaching it.

Unfortunately, this is often not enough to appease the naysayers, the ones who feel that music is just a frivolous little hobby.

They do not understand that this is not a fun free-time hobby for us. This is our LIFE.

With that said, I found out some very appalling news today. The college I am currently attending is cutting the music department. No reason has been given as of yet, but it is still heartbreaking none the less. However, this is the sad reality we often face: when things become tight, or when changes have to be made, the musicians are the ones who usually wind up taking the crushing blow.

I will not be attending this college after this spring semester, and when I walk away from the campus in one month, I will know that my efforts were not wasted when I begin attending a four-year university this fall. So why go on and protest the decision? Our department, professor included, is like one big family. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. When one of us is overjoyed, we are all overjoyed. Now that the future of our department has been thrown on the cutting room floor, we will all stick it out together. I have wonderful friends who will be left in limbo with a need to find somewhere else to finish the first two years of their music degrees before transferring to a major university therefore being denied the chance to follow their dreams. Future students will have to look elsewhere for a music department. Our professor will be left with the daunting task of finding a new, secure job somewhere else.

He was the best thing that happened to our music department. He was proactive, and had a lot of great ideas to bring to the table. Our music department was in the stages of rebuilding, and he was what we needed: a phenomenal, motivated, creative teacher. The only problem is, he needed the chance to do just that: rebuild our department. Help draw people in and make our music department appealing to prospective students. Mean business, but enjoy it at the same time. He and the current students who are not yet ready to graduate and/or transfer have had the proverbial rug cruelly yanked out from underneath them.

This has made us question who truly supports the musical endeavor. However, there is proof of success with a music degree:

First and foremost, any and all choir, band, and orchestra directors, general music teachers, and private voice and instrument instructors past and present are leading (or have lead) productive lives by teaching music in the schools and in their respective music studios. After all, without them, I and other music students would not be where we are now.

Conductor and composer Eric Whitacre studied music at Julliard. He is one of the most prolific composers of today.

Ben Folds momentarily studied at University of Miami's school of music. He never graduated due to failing his percussion jury (a broken hand prohibited him from being able to play), but he was eventually lucky (and by lucky, I mean very very lucky) enough to find success as a musician, from his band Ben Folds Five in the mid-1990's to his current solo career. He is passionately supportive of music in the schools.

Jack Conte, an independent musician and producer, obtained a degree in music with an emphasis in composition and technology from Stanford. He has pioneered an audio/visual medium of producing music called the "videosong" (No hidden sounds and no lip-syncing, what you see is what you get) which combines multi-track music recording with a video recording of the process. He maintains a solo music career strictly through YouTube, as well as performing in the band Pomplamoose with his girlfriend, Nataly. They are able to make a living as musicians that is as comfortable as, or maybe slightly more comfortable than standard 9 to 5 jobs could provide them.

While a few of these success stories have been based on sheer luck, my point is that they were able to study music to be the best they could possibly be. They had teachers who supported them and helped them to hone their natural talents. They had people who cared and wanted them to rise to the top musically.

We have community support. Whether the public comes to our performances or participates in the community ensembles, they express their support in many different ways. However, I don't believe that the powers-that-be on campus believed in our program enough to continue on with it.

While there are those who choose not to support the arts for whatever their reasons may be, there are still many who do.

The decision has already been made, and we are left to deal with the wake of this loss. I hope that in the future, they will realize the impact that this decision will make and decide to reverse it, sooner rather than later. Don't let the music die.

I support music. Do you?


*********DISCLAIMER: In a recent edition of my hometown's newspaper, there was an article about a high school student who was punished for posting on Twitter about his bitter disagreements with one of the school's extracurricular activities. In the wake of this controversy, I want to say that I do not, I repeat DO NOT mean this to be a blast on the college or any of its administrators, students, faculty, etc. This is strictly to bring awareness to an issue that I, and many others are already extremely passionate about that just happened to hit home. Thank you.

Woot.

Hello, Hello. And Hello.

So, two blogs two nights in a row? I'm seriously blogging back to back?

Yup. 'Tis true. Because........

*long dramatic drum roll*

I'm BORED!!! I've had a rather exhausting, albeit good, productive day and I am so super tired it's not even funny. Since I had my gall bladder surgery a week and a half ago, I've been doing really well (majority of my recovery was the week of, so now I'm getting around really good. I'm still not supposed to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. for the next 4 and a half weeks, though.) but I get really tired easily. Usually by the end of the day, I'm drained. Unfortunately, choir makes me really tired too. It's a bummer, but it's the truth. It's only because I'm not quite up to 100% yet, though.

I'm super super proud of myself today, though, on the subject of singing! My private voice lesson went super super well today and was very productive! My technique is improving and I sound GREAT. I found my head voice today, and I think I also found my confidence somewhere in the shuffle as well.

I'm also looking forward to being fully recovered from surgery and finished with this semester so that I can take the summer and focus on getting more active. Josh and I are getting our dog, a Great Pyrenees named Tundra, very soon and he will need walked every day. I'm looking forward to all the great exercise I'll be getting when I take Tundra for walks around the neighborhood this summer, providing that he doesn't walk ME instead. Now that my big health issue is over with (a non-functioning gall bladder), I can get back to my goal of losing weight. I know this sounds horrible, but I found some pictures of myself when I was in high school and forgot how tiny I was! I'm positive that with the right motivation and the right plan, I can get back to a healthier weight. My physical and mental well being have been neglected for far too long. Plus the weather here has gotten absolutely gorgeous, and I'm getting cabin fever pretty bad. The beautiful Kansas outdoors are calling my name. I'm especially dying to get to the lake. I didn't get to go last summer, and I want to spend more time out there this summer. Of course, I keep saying that every year and when I do get to go, it's only once. I'll just have to hold myself to that affirmation.

On that note, I don't seem to be perking up anytime soon, so I suppose I should probably close this down and either crash for the evening, or try and do something productive with my time (besides this blog! I haven't exactly harassed Josh at all today, so that will give me something to do! I have to pay him back for hacking my Twitter account!).

Later.

Thankful

Yes, I am feeling sentimental.

Yes, this is going to be a sappy, possibly soul-baring post tonight.

This is not a bad thing though. I have a lot to be thankful for.

It's been a rough time as of late, but rather than dwell on the negative, I've decided to count my blessings. After all, negativity gets nowhere. I've been in dire need of self-affirmation. It gives me a boost to go in the right direction and makes me feel about 100 times better about myself.

I've always felt that I've needed to prove myself worthy of others' time, and that I am growing as a person. I hate making mistakes and I sometimes feel like I come off as annoying and creepy, and that others won't like me. However, I have to constantly remind myself:

1) I am worthy of the attention of others. If people do not like me, then that's their loss. I don't have to call them out on why they don't like me or might have beef with me. I just accept it, and move on. I don't have time for petty disagreements with someone I will never see eye to eye with.

2) I have awesome friends who love me for me, and constantly remind me that I am NOT annoying and creepy.

3) By accepting these things, and making sure that I look to the path before me rather than what I've left behind me, then I truly AM growing as a person.

My confidence in my musical talent has been blossoming too. Not only that, but also my confidence in my teaching ability. I am in my second year of teaching piano lessons, and in those two years I have had several students come and go. I'm really pleased that I have a few students that have really turned out well. I couldn't be any prouder of them. It makes me feel good that I'm doing a great job of sharing my love of music with others.

As I said before, I feel that I have a lot to be thankful for. I know I've mentioned this already in previous posts, but it's the truth. Tonight I just feel like being a little more specific.

Like my husband, Josh. He is THE best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that a lot of girls brag about having the best husband in the world, but for me, it's not just bragging. It is stating a fact. I have put him through so much in the 6 years we've been together, and he is still right there with me. He's stood by me through the good and the bad, supported my decision to quit my job to go back to school full time and fulfill my dream of becoming a music teacher. He also saved my life.

I don't talk about my personal struggles much, especially my longtime fight with depression. It's just something I've dealt with since I was 9, and I don't normally talk about it because I don't want the sympathy. With 2 years of therapy, I've been getting more comfortable with talking about it but I still feel awkward sometimes. However, if it had gotten the best of me 2 years ago, it's pretty likely that I wouldn't be here typing this blog. Lucky for me I had Josh, who happened to walk in at the right time and catch me in the act before I could do anything damaging to myself.

My friends... I've pretty much had the same circle of friends since I was in high school, but I have friends from all walks of life that I have made over the past several years. I might not always be able to relate with them, but that's not how I base my friendships. I don't base them off of how often I keep in contact or hang out with them. That's not what matters to me. What does matter to me is that they care about me, and know that even though I tend to fall off of the radar, I don't ever stop caring about them. I've been pretty lucky to have great friends for a long span of time, and that's something I'm thankful for.

Things haven't been the easiest for my family, but I don't ever stop caring about them either. My dad and I both act a lot alike, and we tend to butt heads. I don't talk to my siblings much because our lives and families get in the way. I miss my mom like crazy and often feel lost because she was always the one I turned to in triumph and in hardship, and it has been so hard for me to adjust to the fact that I can't call her up and vent to her on a bad day or bust through her front door in excitement because of some grand accomplishment I achieved or to share any great news I found out. But, with hardship comes strength. As a family, we're still standing. That's all that truly matters.

Music.... listening to it, playing it, doesn't matter. It's my biggest love next to Josh and it's all I've ever wanted to do for a livelihood since I was 8. I'm just thankful for the huge role it plays in my life and that I will get to make a career out of teaching it to others. It's a reward for the heart. Oh, and it helps to keep what little bit of sanity I have intact too.

In the last few months, I feel I've kind of strayed from my spiritual path, but thankfully, I do not have a religion that chastises me for my flaws in that respect. I'm only human! I am trying to regain my footing though, and it makes me feel better. It's best to be honest with oneself.

So that is the post for tonight. May you all find yourselves a little more fulfilled as your stories unfold before you. I know I'm looking forward to all of the good things that are in store for me in the future as I write my story in the book of life. :)

Peace, love and light. :)

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! (Insert holiday greeting here)! (Take your pick!!!)

It's almost Christmas! Woot!

I'm typing a new blog post! Awesomesaucetown!

It's been 3 months since the last blog! Uhhh.......???

So apparently, blogging has become a once-every-three-month thing for me. Not because I'm just not *that* into blogging anymore (I still love it!) or I'm a total lamesauce loser with no life therefore giving me nothing exciting to write about... the fact is, I'd been busy with classes. Which made me a busy lamesauce loser with nothing exciting to write about, unless you wanted to know about music theory, the various humanities, or different sociological principles and theories. Which for someone not interested, is- yep, you guessed it- not that exciting.

However, now, I'm on Christmas break. I'm alllllmost ready, too. Unfortunately, my bad habit of late Christmas shopping is really coming back on me in a bad way: I still have some shopping left to do later today and even still, I'm not done yet. So some people will be getting their Christmas late.

I swear on my life, my mother's grave, and my musical talent that I will open a Christmas Club account at the bank after the first of the year and actually do my Christmas shopping EARLY. And by early, I mean that I'm not going to put it off until the week before Christmas!!!

With the new year, comes new beginnings. I have 2 new piano students starting the Tuesday after New Year's, which is pret-ty darn exciting. I get to graduate from LCC in May. Even more exciting stuff! Next year is going to be a year of changes, and I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, and before anyone asks, NO, I do NOT think the world is going to end next December. That's all I'm going to say on the matter.

So on that note, I'm going to end this session of my rants, raves, and randomness (If there weren't any, then my blog title would be considered false advertising!)

Merry Christmas, Blessed Solstice, Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate, make it great, make it count, and have a wonderful one. :)